Still young

Early January, she turned eighty.  My mother doesn't really look eighty.  She has said it is because she has spent her life around young people.  Dad died when she was relatively young, 45.  She didn't have anyone to grow old with,  So in many ways she didn't grow old.  Her friends were younger.  Her family was younger and her co-workers were younger.  When we were both younger, she was mistaken for my sister. 


I often say that I am 23 on the inside.  I wonder how old she is on the inside.  Is she 21, the age she was when she married Dad ?  Is she 23, the age she was when she had her first child?  Is she 26, the age she was when she moved to Kansas? Or 19, the age she was when working on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon?  The passage of time only marks the length of our mortal lives, not the age of our spirits.  I've heard some people called "old souls" in recognition of their innate maturity.  Mom is a "young soul," with sympathy for the boy who left a trail through her yard as he found a short cut to his girl friend's house.  She is a young soul in her sense of style - well maybe middle aged, but not old.  She is a young soul in her desire for creativity and her sense of adventure.  Her laughter is young.

So we got together and laughed and ate for her eightieth birthday.  (by the way do you know how many incorrect ways I can think of to spell "eightieth")  We ate oatmeal pancakes and cinnamon rolls and fruit for breakfast,lasagna, salad, oatmeal bread and lots of sweets by a warm fire for lunch.  We ate like young people without concern for calories or sugar or salt or fat.   We also got a tour of the lab where S works. 

It seems too soon to plan for old age, to think ahead and yet she is eighty. We need to think about things like living wills and possible living arrangements and how to help if needed.  I begin by getting information about the place she thinks will be a good place to live.  I have the info.  Now I need to read it.  I went to the hospital and got some paperwork on living wills.  We will go through it and figure out how she can do it in Kansas.  All the while hoping that those plans and preparations will not really be necessary, that she can live the remainder of her life relatively healthy in her own home, still young.