Leading and Following

David has a friend at work who has started ballroom dancing with his wife. They invited us to a "dance party" - another name for a sales pitch, but it included a group lesson on the fox trot and an evening of dancing. We agreed to sign up for the five dollar intro lessons which included one group lesson (swing) and two individual lessons for us as a couple. We asked them to teach us the rumba and give us some tips on leading and following. The teacher was sweet and helpful. The group lesson in contrast to the first group lesson did not have any men with alcoholic courage, so it was better. Group lessons mean you rotate around to all the possible dance partners in the room. It made me appreciate my husband, who smiles sweetly, smells clean (in more ways than one), looks at you instead of the floor, doesn't step on your toes, and recognizes the beat of the music ...... In spite of the unpleasantries of the first group lesson, we did enjoy ourselves and it was good to have someone help us a little bit.

For years, I've been complaining that DER doesn't lead because he expects all dances to be like folk dances with a set pattern of steps that both dancers know. He counter complains that I cuddle up too close for him to effectively lead. The teacher helped us do better. My cuddling prevented the tension necessary and he often forgot to lead or didn't know when to give the cue. I wonder where else in life tension is necessary.

Of course, after the short series of $5 lessons, they try to lead you into signing up for more lessons at the regular price by making it awkward to decline. We declined - hopefully with enough kindness and sensitivity that the teacher didn't feel like it was about her as a teacher. But we might think about doing a short series of lessons some other time. Now if we could just find a place to dance more often so we develop some kinesthetic memory.